The purpose of this book is to provide much needed, admittedly somewhat counter-intuitive, insight and perspective for survivors of devastating and debilitating loss. (From this point forward, they will be simply referred to as “Survivors.”) And to equip, encourage, and empower Survivors to commence fundamentally shifting associated impressions, paradigms, and ingrained beliefs about the degree of recovery possible and requisite duration of time to get there.

If you’re anything like the Survivors I’ve worked with over the years, that language sounds quite a bit more forceful and direct than you’d typically encounter in the grief management arena. However, there’s a simple explanation for the difference in language. It’s the unique, results-oriented Grief Recovery Coaching methodology I’ve developed and mastered working with clients—versus what others do.

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The bottom line is it’s that more proactive methodology and prioritized emphasis on integrating new perspective, modified responses, and highly effective paradigm-shifting techniques that ultimately facilitates optimized growth, forgiveness, and emotional, psychological, and spiritual relief. And this climactically restores Survivors’ futures, while no longer needing to forget, ignore, bemoan or be trapped in the past.

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This book endeavors to enlighten, support, and steady your initial steps as you begin to forge a new mindset and path forward - rooted in the awareness that this dark, painful and lonely place you’ve found yourself hopelessly stuck in these past Godforsaken months, years or perhaps even decades, this foreboding place, has got to be just about the last place your cherished loved one would ever want you to be trapped in. What I suspect your unenviable ordeal with grief, thus far, has made blatantly clear is continuing to just do what you’ve been doing, seemingly waiting for some magic of sorts to occur—it isn’t likely to change anything. No. Finally escaping the clutches of all this agony and pain is going to take a bit more.

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However, before beginning to learn and adopt the requisite changes, a smaller yet vital step is necessary. The core belief that true recovery is both possible and attainable must be present. As simple as that might sound, one of the most paralyzing and daunting barriers I’ve encountered over the years, keeping Survivors severely helpless, hopeless, and stuck is the underlying ingrained belief that there’s no real potential to recover from the grief and truly live again.

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That’s one of my primary reasons for deciding to write this book. I wanted to get the word out. Grief is not invincible. Grief does not have to be permanent. Recovery, healing, hope, and brighter days are entirely possible and available to you.

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The myths to be explored and ultimately denounced in the pages that follow comprise some of the very deepest roots for this highly-stifling and debilitating disbelief. And if we decimate the deepest roots, the toxic and chronic effects of that proverbial weed will stifle us no more.